What’s YOURS Is OURS + What’s MINE Is OURS
by Bizzie Gold
2 years ago
WHAT WE ARE GOING TO ACCOMPLISH IN THIS LESSON
One might read this opener and think that it sounds possessive - AND IT IS. We aren’t here to talk about sharing ownership over a toothbrush, a couch or your favorite kitchen appliance. We are talking about sharing ownership of EACH half of the partnership’s emotional responses. It can be easy to think you are merely an observer of your partner’s outburst, bad mood or attempt to hit the self-destruct button but the truth is NOT ONLY did you and do you play a large role in it … THERE is much more to be done on your behalf to show up and LEAN IN to the hard work, truth-filled conversations and temporary discomfort that lies ahead. I understand why we would be tempted to use someone’s emotional response as a reason to retreat, runaway, shutdown or rationalize your plan B. But THIS article is why you aren’t going to let yourself do it anymore.
These moments of pain or perceived rejection are opportunities to learn. These moments trigger our source belief. [keep reading to learn about Source Belief if you haven’t yet taken Break Method ] These emotional reactions or withdrawals of love give your brain the evidence it is and has been seeking all your life to make you feel like you: Aren’t pretty enough or smart enough, You’re a disappointment, You will always be rejected or abandoned, Everyone will always cheats on you, or that Life is chaos and you will always be powerless. In intimate relationships, these emotional responses often have MUCH LESS to do with you [one half of the partnership] and MUCH MORE to do with the cycle of symbiotic dysfunction you find yourselves in [again keep reading you haven’t taken Break Method to understand the terminology]. If your relationship is relatively new, these moments are likely evidence of new levels of vulnerability and trust TRYING to open and these events are the MOST triggering for the vast majority of human brains - especially those with the source beliefs: I have to be in control to receive love, I will always be rejected or abandoned or Life is chaos.