Can't Live WITH Them / Can't Live WITHOUT Them
by Bizzie Gold
4 years ago
The Symbiotic Dysfunction Of Intimate Relationships
From the moment you open your eyes in the morning until the last blink of your eyelids before you fall asleep, your subconscious thoughts are commanding your body (+ with it your voice, body language, and feet) to solicit interactions to feed neuroreceptors sprinkled throughout your body. Here's the problem - these neuroreceptors were built from years of childhood emotional experience and reinforced through biofeedback over the course of your life. What does that mean for you? Whatever emotions you experienced with the highest frequency between birth and 15 years old are likely screaming out behind the scenes EVERY day in the form of neurorecptors craving their neurotransmitter fix.
BYPASSING YOUR PROTECTIVE MECHANISMS IS KEY
If your brain is already tempted to proclaim that you had a perfect childhood... POP DOWN. Any attempt your brain makes at immediately serving up vehement proclamations of a perfect childhood are typically indicative of what we call OVERRIDE MESSAGING in Break Method. Rest assured, this doesn't mean you're broken - it means you're human.
For the children turned adults reading this now - maybe the problem IS that your childhood was truly "perfect" and maybe out of that perfection your parents celebrated mediocrity destroying your barometer for measuring effort, dedication or drive. Maybe you experienced "shiny object syndrome" where your life seemed perfect on the outside but you had a baseline level of awareness of dysfunction existing in the background or being hidden from you creating a low-level mistrust for the people around you. Whatever the case may be, I assure you that each and every one of us, perfect childhood or not, didn't make it out of our journey to adulthood without a trail of emotional addictions, adaptive social behaviors and core beliefs that trigger our behavior each and every day of our lives.
When we start to look back at our childhood experiences to draw cause and effect relationships, it is important to remember the following:
1) we are NOT looking back at the events from our current perspective - you HAVE to do your best to jump into your perception at that age [even if the feelings or emotions that come up don't seem logical now]
2) We are ONLY chemically patterned with what we PERCEIVE happens to us and other people's accounts of the events have NO relevance whatsoever [ if we believed something to be true or real at that childhood moment - we were patterned as if it was - all objectivity out the door here]
3) To survive into adulthood, we often create false narratives or more flowery versions of our experience to keep trucking. Dismantling these false narratives can be tricky but easily accomplished through Directed Storytelling®.
During childhood, our closest relationships (energetically speaking) are typically parents, siblings and other primary caregivers. Moving into adulthood, these spots are often replaced by intimate relationships and close friends. Unless significant effort has been taken to identify patterns of emotional addiction, these subtle messages begin running your brain on autopilot and are often responsible for attracting the NEW people in your life replacing the spots once taken up by parents and siblings. In the simplest terms, this is how it works: